Tuesday, August 15, 2006

 

The Beach: Not starring Leonardo Dicaprio


I spent this past weekend down the shore at my parents shore house, which is lovely I might add. The house is in Erma. That is right near the Cape May airport and about 15 minutes from Wildwood so clearly it is in the greatest spot ever. Its like living on park place with 3 hotels built on it, and you get to be the top hat!

Being down the shore means a couple of things: drinking, BBQ, drinking, and the beach. Oh yes, the beach. Like I said my house is near both Wildwood and Cape May so I have 2 options to soak up the rays. But wait. Theres a 3rd option. The greatest beach that no one knows about because its near Erma, and who ever heard of Erma? Exactly, no one.

When you go to a beach and you find a space this is considered "your space". But really, how big is "your space"? Its barely enough room for you and your shit, thats how big. Theres someone within a foto of you in every direction. But not Erma. "MY space" only had one couple within 20 feet of me. Yup, 20 feet. And on the other side? No one. I'm not saying that the beach was completly empty but if you walk down just a little it almost becomes your own fantasy island. Minus the cute little midget of course. Did I mention that the couple next to us brought the cutest dalmation I have ever seen? Did I mention that your allowed to bring your dog to the beach? Because you are. And just about everyone did. I actually talked with this couple a little and was playing with dottie (the dalmation) in the water. She didnt even mind my cigar smoke.

If bringing your dog to a beach doesn't make it cool enough for you here are soem other things I noticed while smoking in the ocean:

• People fishing on the same beach. Its not too weird I guess but usually there are seperate beaches for people to fish. Apparently swimmers dont like to get hooked while they're boogie boarding. Sissies.

• I actually saw a couple of kids go to the far end of the beach and start wacking golf balls into the ocean. They were no Tiger Woods but still.

• Kayakers, jet skis, and boats, oh my. These people were coming about 50 ft. to the beach like it wasn't a big deal. I guess because its technically the bay and it has no waves it makes it a lot easier to not get washed up on shore like Pauly Shores career. Fuck you Pauly Shore!

Well I guess thats about it from the Erma beach. Craziness for sure but the good kind. Next time we go down I think I'm gonig to smoke a joint, stroll around naked, set off fireworks, tear the tags off of pillows, not return overdue library books, and jay walk to get there because anything goes baby!

Comments:
Damn, I haven't been to the beach all summer. And there's not much time left...

Apparently, paradise actually exists and its in Jerz. Who woulda guessed?
 
favorite quote from project runway this week, "jersey looked just as awful as it ever did."

clearly, she was referring to north jersey outside of nyc, because the shore rocks!
 
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