What the F?

http://www.cracked.com/article_15636_10-most-terrifyingly-inspirational-80s-songs.html

My old ringtone supports this post.

For all of us who hate to get out of bed and get our shotgun!

An "artist" chained up a dog in a gallery and let it starve to death. He calls it art. I call it worthless shock value. Please sign this petition to ban him from an art festival he was selected to go to.

http://www.petitiononline.com/130319...tion-sign.html

News for cats and dogs - Costa Rican Artist Under Fire For Starving Dog As Part Of Art Exhibit

In case your tierd of that bland old soda such as Coca-cola and Pepsi, you can try something new like sweaty underwear or throwing dirt in your mouth. Oh, never wanted to taste that? Too bad cause now you can!

SEATTLE (AP) -- Ever wonder what the Seahawks' locker room tastes like after a big game?

Apparently, Jones Soda Co. thinks Seattle NFL fans want to know. The company started taking online pre-orders Thursday for a five-pack of sodas with flavors it says reflect the hard work of professional football players.

Clare Bowles, a spokeswoman for the Seattle-based company, said the four literally named flavors -- Dirt, Sports Cream, Perspiration and Natural Field Turf -- are "pretty lifelike."

"Perspiration Soda is kind of salty tasting," she said, with a slightly higher sodium content than the average soda, with a smooth, "stinky football sock" finish.

A sip of Sports Cream Soda conjures up the experience of rubbing ointment into an aching muscle, while Natural Field Turf Soda is like "playing tackle football, and you get tackled really hard, you're down on the ground and you get a little bit of the grass in your teeth," Bowles said.

The only sweet soda of the bunch, Sweet Victory, has a berry flavor.

Each bottle features the photo of a Seattle Seahawks player. Limited quantities of the five-pack will be sold in select stores starting Oct. 1.

In May, Jones Soda (Charts) announced it won a five-year contract to sell nonalcoholic beverages at the Seahawks' home stadium, Qwest Field, beating out The Coca-Cola Co (Charts, Fortune 500).

From the bottom of Bill Conlin's certified moron column of the day:

From Bill Colin today:

So far, staff ace Cole Hamels has made it clear he would like to have a personal chiropractor on the road to oversee his long and complex daily stretching routine; that he won't take the ball on 3 days' rest under any circumstance or pitch in relief if the need dictates. There is no questioning his stuff or valor on the mound, but he is surrounded by red flags off it. Mr. Softee should be rewarded for his spectacular All-Star season - but only with a 1-year deal. He needs to give evidence he is not going to be the lefthanded Tyler Green.

Let’s go to the stats from the first two seasons:

Year Ag Tm  Lg  W   L   G   GS  CG SHO  IP     H    R   ER   HR  BB   SO   ERA 

1995 25 PHI NL   8   9  26  25   4   2 140.7  157   86   83  15   66   85  5.31

1997 27 PHI NL   4   4  14  14   0   0  76.7   72   50   42   8   45   58  4.93

Year Ag Tm  Lg  W   L   G   GS  CG SHO  IP     H    R   ER   HR  BB   SO   ERA 

2006 22 PHI NL   9   8  23  23   0   0 132.3  117   66   60  19   48  145  4.08

2007 23 PHI NL  15   5  28  28   2   0 183.3  163   72   69  25   43  177  3.39

Can hardly tell the difference other than minor categories like W-L, ERA, strikeouts, innings pitched, walks,
runs allowed, well I guess everything.  But at least Tyler Green didn’t ask for a commonly used medical
practice to keep him healthy.

How does this rambling old man still have a job?  Remember when he “broke the story” at mid-season that Rollins
was the best Phillies SS ever? Even better than Larry Bowa and his career .300 on base and .320 slugging?  
Really Bill?  Thanks for the breaking story.  How does this incoherent old man still have a job?

Over the past 23 years of not winning championships, I've formed a pattern of behaviors that I believe contribute to the successes (or lack of) of our local sports teams. This strict collection of rules to root by has been tested through trial and error since 1993, and despite the fact we haven't won anything, the losing has allowed me to tweak the system as needed. I made them official in 2005.

So here are my rules:

Superstition 1: No superstitions.

This is nearly impossible to explain, but the idea is to NOT have any superstitions because they do not affect the outcome. Basically, I must proceed as normally as possible and not change actions and decision making based on the fact there is a big game/ playoff run. This rule guides all of the others.

Rule activated: 2004

Superstition 2: No team apparel during the game.
Almost never will you catch me at s sporting event or at home watching the game in a jersey or hat. On a normal day, would I be wearing a jersey? Nope. Hat? Nope. I consider that stuff superstitious. So in keeping with Superstition 1, gear during the game IS off limits. Of course there are exceptions.

Exception: If I believe 100% that in a particular circumstance, I would wear a jersey or team shirt for reasons other than the game, then it is okay to proceed. For example, if I have no clean clothes and I happen to have a clean Sixers t-shirt, it’s fine that wear it during the game, as long as I didn’t make a conscious decision to wear it for the purpose of the game.

Rule activated: 2004

Superstition 3: No predicting the outcome before the game.
C’mon. No sports fan is willing to jinx the whole thing.

Rule activated: 1993

Superstition 4: Watch the game at home, or wherever I would normally be watching it.
If I normally watched Sixers games during the season at home, then during a playoff run I’d watch them at home. If I normally watch the Phillies game at the bar, then I’ll watch them at the bar during a big game. Home is always a safe place because 99% of the time, a large chunk of games were watched there. Special parties are frowned upon.

Rule activated: 2005

Superstition 5: No drinking during the game.
Especially Eagles games. After the game, it’s whatever.

Exception: If I would normally drink that night, it’s no problem. If I’m drinking because I’m watching the game, I’m in violation.

Rule activated: 2007

Superstition 6: If what I’m doing during the game is not helping, switch it up.
If for some reason, I’ve followed all of my rules and the game is going horribly… abandon them. Rules one is ‘no superstitions’ so I’m free to do whatever I want. If the Eagles are getting killed and I’m chilling at the house, it might be time for me to throw a jersey on and head to the sports bar.

Rule activated: 2001

Go Phils! I'm going through a lot here.