Friday, February 22, 2008


Not to be crude but...



Tuesday, February 19, 2008


I am a polar bear!

This past weekend I went down to Sea Isle City, NJ and did the polar bear plunge with my brother in law and his cousin. My balls will never be the same.

Now I initially had no intention on going into the ocean and doing the plunge, I was going to purely spectate, but after drinking from 10 in the morning it started to become a pretty good idea.

There I am standing on the beach with my brother in laws father in my nice warm jacket getting ready to watch these two run into the ocean, one in only a bathing suit and the other in a speedo (picture below), when I decided, "Hey, why aren't I doing this? It'll be a good story at least". And thats when I stripped down to my underwear and joined them. I'm still not sure if this was a good idea or not but damn was it cold... and fun.

Let's just say that my legs went numb from being in the water (or wooder as I say) for about 10 seconds and my balls literally felt like someone was stepping on them. Meanwhile my brother in laws cousin was out up to his neck doing a backstroke. Crazy bastard. Well here are some pics and video I found that we happen to show up in. Enjoy.

Here I am checking out my shrinkage

Here I am picking my ass

Here is my sweet, sweet ass

Here is my brother in laws cousin running in his banana hammock

My brother in law and I running into the water

And another of me running in... I look an adonis don't ya think?

And here is the video I got the pics from.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


I'm in love...

with Evangeline Lilly. Yea, I know me and every other guy in the world is but before it was purely on looks. Not so anymore. I saw her on Letterman last night and she is grade A-dorable.

Basically I'm asking if anyone knows her and would like to introduce her to me. Theres a slight chance she would feel bad for me and get a drink with me. The chances are slim though because she mentions to Dave something about a girlfriend. Is that a real "friend" or a real "girlfriend"? Not that that would be the reason my chances are slim, thats all me folks. I don't have a lot going for me in the old charm, looks, personality, or hygiene department. Anyway, check her out on Dave last night, she's awesome.

Thursday, February 07, 2008


Dude punches his attorney

in the courtroom.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


Give them and inch...

I'm generally not the kind of guy who gets bothered by much, in fact I usually just let things roll off my back and say it is no big deal. I've been like that since high school when I for some reason mellowed out. Grade school, not so much... but anyway...

This morning is different for some reason. Something so stupid, so minor is still on my mind from my train ride into work. It's funny too because if it was something major, something everyone would be mad about, I wouldn't even care.

So I'm on the train this morning and for once I actually got a seat. Thats right, no standing for this guy. I'd like to say I got the seat based on my dashing good looks and charmed someone into giving up the seat but, well, if you know me you know thats not true. Just got lucky. Until this broad sits next to me.

Do I care if someone sits next to me on the train? Not unless they stink or, God forbid, want to talk to me. Other then that, feel free to park that thang next to me and enjoy the ride. But this woman did something that I feel is a common courtesy. You have a certain amount of leg room in your seat and she was clearly over the edge. It was like her knee was jumping over the Mexican border into the United States of my lap.

I know its dumb but its so annoying. Whenever I accidentally bump someones leg with mine in this situation my instinct is to move my leg over. Not this subhuman. She kept putting on more pressure.

So finally I turn to her and say, "Hey, twat face, would you mind moving that thunder thigh over a little? It feels like my leg is about to be turned into a diamond from the pressure." She was shocked! Well, she would have been if I did in fact say that but, you know, I'm spineless.

Well that was my rant for the day. It feels good getting that off my chest. I feel better now actually. In fact I don't even care anymore. Consider this officially rolled off my back.

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