Friday, December 29, 2006


Indian giver

Remember that post i made about "A Christmas story" VS. "National lampoons christmas vacation"? And how I was gonig to do a bracket to see which was better? well thats not happening. I'm just waaaay too lazy to go through all that work. i actually did come up with the best 8 moments from each but never had them do battle. oh well.

Oh by the way, a christmas story won. both movies great but its just slightly better.


Make sure you take the time to give back

Classic ESPN commercial. Back when they were an actual decent station.

Sunday, December 24, 2006


Ralphie VS. Griswold

We'll folks, it is the hap, happiest time of the year. Christmas. What makes Christmas the happiest day on the calendar is debatable. Some like to get presents, give presents, break childrens presents to watch them cry or even drink eggnog by the gallon. Not me. Well, maybe the 3rd and 4th but they dont represent the true meaning of Christmas in my eyes. No, for me the true meaning of christmas is the amazing movies that the birth of christ has inspired. Especially the ones where he does not make a cameo.(Jesus can't act for shit!) There are two movies in particular that I am speaking about: "A Christmas story" and "National lampoons christmas vacation".

Even though they are christmas movies I still consider them to be two of my favorite movies. In fact I have to keep myself from watching them throughout the year just so they can feel extra special. It can get tough but a pint of eggnog usually evens me out... and some blow, anyhoo... so which of these christmas miracles is supreme??? It truly is harder to decide between these two movies than to try and decide which one of your children you would save if they both were drowning and you only had time to save one. The only way i can think of is if i take the best moments from each flick, have them do battle, and see who comes out on top. One great scene from one great movie will determine the winner. Its like March madness only in December. And there's no schools but movies. And theres only two. And there wont be nearly as much gambling.

On to the tournament!
Heres how it shall work. When we all come back to work on tuesday I will make a bracket containing 8 moments from each movie. Each round will recieve its own post.

So there will be 2 rounds with 8 movie moments, than 2 rounds with 4 movie moments, 2 rounds with 2 and finally 1 on 1 for the best moment and movie. Sounds easy enough.

I will make up brackets and hand them out so everyone can play along. its gonna be fun. Trust me.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


My last AI post, I swear

It's official. AI is a Nugget. Sad to see him go but it had to be done.

Billy King actually executed a pretty nice
deal where the Sixers received two first round picks in next year's draft in return for the former MVP. They'll be low picks but it will be a deep draft loaded with talent, including the 35-year-old Ohio State freshman Greg Oden. I'm sorry but there is no way this guy is still a teenager. And with three total first round picks, the Sixers have some leverage to perhaps pull off another deal before the draft.

On a side note, I wonder how Sixers consultant Larry Brown, who had his differences with AI, sold the deal to his buddy and current Nuggets coach George Karl. I'd like to hear that conversation.

I leave you with some amazing Iverson
highlights and some fan responses to Bill Simmons' column. See, people do care.

It's been real AI.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


You need to diversify yo bonds

This was all I could think about during a 401k meeting today.

Sunday, December 17, 2006


You see- the NBA is fun

Props to Temple product Mardy Collins, who took to the NBA what he learned from John Chaney- foul hard when your opponent is embarassing you.

Boy that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


The end of an era- sometime soon I guess

I tried to hold off on my inevitable Allen Iverson post until the Sixers actually traded him, but due to the fact that GM Billy King is a fuckin idiot and may not pull off a deal forever, I guess I'll just make my peace now.

First let me say that Iverson is the greatest Philly athlete of my time-maybe ever. Now I'm too young to remember Schmidt, Barkley, Dr. J and Wilt in their primes, but I still think AI should be mentioned in the same category as those guys. Easily.

It's just sad to see it end this way. A former MVP who can still drop 35 a night is waiting to be shipped off. Like all the other rational fans, I agree that an Iverson trade needs to happen. It should have happened a couple years ago. Not because Iverson was getting old or that his game was slowing down. Because the Sixers have been going in the wrong direction ever since the '01 Finals appearance. Because King has hired and fired a million coaches and brought in "complimentary stars" like Derrick Coleman, Keith Van Horn and Toni Kukoc over the last five years. Because the fans won't pay to watch anymore, whether Iverson's on the court or not.

The Sixers organization has gotten so bad and so desperate, that they will basically get slop in return. Last summer, they promised to put a better team on the court. Iverson said he wanted to retire a Sixer. Neither has/will happen. And even worse, the end of the AI era in Philly will be a bitter one, something Iverson and the fans don't deserve.

I've grown up with AI. The Sixers drafted him 1st overall in '96 when I was 13, and he's been the most exciting athlete to watch ever since. The state of the Sixers pre-Iverson was dismal. They flat out sucked for years after trading away Barkley for a bunch of scrubs. Then this guy comes along, with Larry Brown and Pat Croce, and puts them back on the map.

You're talking about a guy who is barley 6 foot dominating a sport that is dominated by big men. Night after night, AI could be counted on to play his ass off, play with injuries, score with ease and get the crowd on its feet. That was every night. Not just Philly fans, but basketball fans in general, would always have that look of amazement on their faces-as if to say "how the hell did he do that?" He is THE one I will tell my kids about.

AI had many amazing moments- the "passing of the torch" when he made Jordan look silly with a nasty crossover, the sick dunk over Camby in his rookie season, the step over of Tyron Lue in game 1 of the '01 Finals, which is still one of the best games I've ever watched. The entire 2001 season was full of great AI moments.

Unfortunately, like many other prominent Philly athletes, AI will leave town without a championship. That's the worst part of this. Because if anyone deserves to win, it's Iverson. The naysayers will argue he couldn't be coached, he didn't make his teammates better, he was selfish. But if you really watched this guy night after night, you know he was truly about winning and about giving the fans a team to cheer for. Wherever AI ends up, I'll still be cheering for him.

Bill Simmons sums up the mess from a basketball fan's perspective:

"In the meantime, we should be celebrating this moment: A truly great player getting ready to plug himself into the Juvenation Machine. Maybe it doesn't matter where Allen Iverson ends up, just that he's going somewhere at all."



I finally found it.
Footage of my favorite local news anchor, Larry Mendte, falling victim to the superflood of 2004 in Lumberton, New Jerz. For the record, he is my favorite anchor only because of this incident.

The video was posted today on Philebrity. If you move to about the 4 minute mark, you'll see Larry doing exactly what he's telling viewers not to do- walk in the flood waters. Solid stuff.

And staying in tune with the depressing mood on what the f?, Peter Boyle bounced today. Anyone think he resembles Phil Martelli?
Just a little? No? Too soon?

Friday, December 08, 2006


In Memory of Mitch Hedberg - The Kurt Cobain of Comedy

My favorite comedian. He's extremely awkward, random, and often intoxicated on stage. He died from a drug overdose in 2005, just as he was hitting his peak.

Here are a few of my favorite Mitch jokes:

"I was in a casino, minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move. You're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. Unless you're a table."

I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the fucker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. I would like to exchange this for the "keep it"!

Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit.

I saw a commercial for an above-ground pool. It was thirty seconds long. You know why? Because that's the maximum amount of time you can depict yourself having fun in an above-ground pool.

I've never stayed at a bed and breakfast, because I don't think I would, 'cause I figure, you stay at a bed and breakfast, by the end of the day, you start to get hungry. "Is that all you got around here? You need to direct me to a Chair, Lunch, Dinner."

If you're an animal, you want to have a beaver as a friend, 'cause they have some kick-ass houses. That shit is on the lake. Lakeside my ass, lake-on!

I bought a donut, and they gave me a receipt. There is no need for that, man. I'll just give you the money, you give me the donut. End of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this. I cannot imagine a situation in which I would have to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend: "Hey man! Don't even act like I didn't buy that donut! I got the documentation right here...damn...I forgot it at home... it's in the filing cabinet...under D...for donut."

If you find yourself lost in the woods, fuck it, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here. I have severely improved my predicament!"

Check out his Comedy Central Presents:

Thursday, December 07, 2006


Happy 50th Birthday

To Larry Bird. The Hick from French Lick sometimes resembles an 80's porn star more than one of the greatest b-ball players ever. But as good as Bird was (3-time league MVP, 3-time World Champion), his instructional video on how to perfect your jump shot was no help to this undersized white guy.

Also, a happy birthday to Terrell Owens. Congratulations on leading the NFL in dropped passes you stupid son of a bitch.

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