What the F?

This subject that I am about to bring up should hit home with a lot of our readers here at whatthef because I think our only readers here are all women. Not that thats a bad thing, I dig you chick-a-dies, honest. And it will help me on this subject too.

The massage. What woman does not enjoy a good rub down? I dont think there is one out there. Even if your significant other has the hand strength of a ten year old girl you will still beg, "just around the shoulders a little bit". And admit it ladies, there are times when you would much rather have a massage then the old "bone" massage. Its cool. You girls deserve it for putting up with our shit all the time.

I feel its an even trade off but the only thing that needs to stop is the way you go about asking. Its always in that high pitch, "I have a crazy idea" voice. Like your about to throw down something out of this world crazy. Like what your about to ask is so out of the question. And you always ask the same way, "Do you think you can do me a favor"? Sure, what is it? "Doooo youuu thinkkkk (this parts done slowly)... "you can give me a massage?" (This part is done quick). You sly devils.

My absolute favorite part though is when I pretend like I'm all done. I hit everywhere on the body so I begin to slowly take my hands off waiting to hear these words, "Can you massage my butt?" You woman love your butt massaged! Its really the only reason you ask for it at all. I could spend two minutes on everything else but as long as you work the butt for ever its an awesome massage. At least thats my criteria for giving an awesome one.

I think in honor of this post Tone Loc and Incognegro should give free massages to the whole office. Butt massage optional.