What the F?

Don't do it ladies. No matter what your ass looks like there will always be someone out there who likes it. Trust me, I'm a man who loves the ass.

And if you really want it bigger here are some pointers:
1. Eat a damn candy bar once and awhile. It goes straight to your ass and tastes great.

2. Just do some squats or leg presses. Its a little bit harder then just eating candy but in the long run its most likely better. Plus If you do decide to do squats I will get to watch. I'll be the creepy guy doing curls in the corner.

Now, if you dont want your ass to be bigger do the opposite of what I said... i guess.